To All the Television I've Wept Before

For some reason, over the last several days on Twitter, we’ve been chatting about the most sob inducing television episodes of ALL TIME. Bless my dear friend MelissaLeaman for starting this trend and my friend Carrie Raisler for dubbing said episodes as #cryisodes.  I guess the holidays are really starting to wear on us. Either way, I suppose it’s best to get all of the creys out now instead of next week over gifts and too much eggnog surrounded by family. Right? So let’s get to it. Grab a glass of wine (or 6) a box of tissues (or several) and read all about my favorite television breakdowns.

P.S. These are not in any kind of order. It seemed wrong to rank my points of emotional annihilation.

P.P.S. I decided to choose only one episode from each show so all mentioned shows get a “Runner up”

*Dawson’s Creek 5x04 “The Long Goodbye”

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Reason for tears: Dawson loses his dad in a car accident and blames himself.

Quote: (Telling Dawson about his last conversation with Mitch) Mr. Brennan: “Well, when I mentioned your name, his whole face just lit up. He said you were this brave kid, but he had no idea how you got to be that way. He said you had a romantic streak a mile long, and he said he was proud to know you. I'm sorry if that makes you sad, Dawson, but I figure if somebody says that about you, you ought to know it.”

All the feels: I lost my own mother just a month and a half before this episode aired. Dawson’s Creek was always something my sister and I shared and we always felt like it was a pretty big part of our lives. Never before though had we related to the characters so much. Holding each other while watching this one will always be a bitter-sweet memory for me.

Runner up: 6x24 “...Must Come to an End”

 – The death of Jen Lindley – please never again make me watch that video she made for her daughter. “Hi Amy, it's mom. Well, by the time you see this, I won't be here anymore, and I know how much that sucks, for both of us. So seeing as how I won't be around to thoroughly annoy you, I thought I would give you a little list of the things that I wish for you.”

*Grey’s Anatomy 2x27 “Losing My Religion”

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Reason for tears: Izzy risks her career and everyone else’s to get Denny a new heart only to have it give out on him after she leaves to get dressed for the hospital prom.

Quote: Izzie: "An hour ago he was proposing. And now... and now he's going to the morgue. Isn't that ridiculous? Isn't it the most ridiculous piece of crap you've ever... " (starts sobbing. Alex picks her up, cradling her, and sits down on a chair holding and rocking her while she sobs).

All the feels: If she hadn’t been so damn happy when she left to go get dressed, if she hadn’t crawled into bed with him after he died, if Alex wouldn’t have cradled her the way that he did to get her to let him go, maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad. Except that it was SO BAD.

Runner Up: 6x24 “Death and All His Friends” 

– Nearly everyone at Seattle Grace is shot by the husband of a dead patient – please never again make me see Christina’s tears as she is forced at gun point to stop performing surgery on Derek. It only makes me think of “She’s my person.”

* The O.C. 4x01 “The Avengers”

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Reason for tears: Months after Marissa was killed in a car “accident” the residents of Newport are still reeling from her loss.

Quote: Ryan: “Face it. I always bring troubles. Trey, Volchok. You and your family... You're better off without me.”

All the feels: Because Ryan Atwood chooses to cage fight instead of cry about losing the love of his life, I feel like I must cry extra for him. He has shunned anything resembling love and comfort as some kind of punishment he doesn’t deserve. Which makes the unveiling of his Origin Story that much more heart crushing. Comic books are not supposed to make people cry. SETH! 

Runner up: 1x27 “The Ties That Bind” 

– Everyone mourns when Ryan feels he must leave Newport – please never again make me witness Kirsten Cohen breaking down as she folds up Ryan’s abandoned bed clothes. Jeff Buckley’s “Hallelujah” serenades everyone’s pain perfectly.

*Buffy The Vampire Slayer 5x15 “The Body”

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Reason for tears: In the land of all things supernatural, Buffy loses her mother to natural causes.

Quote: Anya: “But I don't understand! I don't understand how this all happens, how we go through this. I mean - I knew her, and then she's... there's just a body, and I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore! It's stupid! It's mortal and stupid! And... and Xander's crying and not talking, and... and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, "Well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch - ever, and she'll never have eggs, or yawn, or brush her hair, not ever," and no one will explain to me why.”

All the feels: Again, because I have lost my own mother, this episode is especially hard. But Joss Whedon did something with this episode that no one else has tried before or since for a major character death: silence. There was no score or soundtrack or song. Just the normal sounds of the opening and closing of doors, of birds chirping outside. Which just made it all so much more REAL. Because when you lose someone in real life, there is no orchestra standing behind you to score your emotional breakdown. There is just loss.

Runner up: 2x22 “Becoming, Part 2” 

– Buffy is forced to send Angel to hell in order to save the world just as he gets his soul back – “Close your eyes.” Please never again make me listen to "Full of Grace" by Sarah McLachlan.

*Castle 3x24 “Knockout”

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Reason for tears: Beckett learns more about the murder of her mother and then is gunned down at a friend’s funeral.

Quote: Castle: (After gunshot) “Kate! No Kate... Ssh. Kate please. Stay with me Kate. Don't leave me, please. Stay with me okay? Kate... I love you. I love you, Kate.”

All the feels: We all knew Beckett wouldn’t actually die. Obviously. But watching her get shot and Castle’s subsequent reaction proved to be more than my emotions could handle. His confession of love when it may have been too late didn’t help much either.

Runner up: 4x01 “Rise” 

– Beckett fights for her life after being shot – please never again make me suffer through Castle screaming at Beckett out of love and anger when she never called him post recovery.

*Friday Night Lights 4x13 “Thanksgiving”

Reason for tears: After getting caught running an illegal chop-shop Tim Riggins takes all of the blame so that his brother Billy can care for his new family.

Quote: Tim: “You are my brother. You are all that I have. You have a family now. You are a father. You need to be one. This is my decision. This is what I have decided. This is what’s gonna happen. You’re my brother.”

All the feels: Tim messed up a lot. But most of the time he just got crapped on. Time and again. And then he took all of the blame when the law came down just so that his brother could be a father in a way that their father never was. He gave up everything for family. And while he never had lofty goals, I doubt being in prison a year after his senior state championship game was ever on his list. It’s probably easier to choose FNL episodes that DIDN’T make me cry but this one will always bring the rain.

Runner up: 4x05 “The Son” 

– Matt loses his dad – please never again, I just cannot. “I gotta get up there in front of everybody and say good stuff about this man. And all I really want to say is 'Hear lies Henry Saracen, his mother annoyed him, his wife couldn't stand him and he didn't want to be a dad so he took off to be in the army because that's the only way he could come up with to get out of here and ditch all your responsibilities and no one could call you out on it and that worked out great so you just decided to enlist four more times and that ended up getting you killed and now here you are. And all you left behind is a mother with dementia, a divorced wife and a son that delivers pizza. Thank you for coming 100 people I do not know.' You know what the worst part is? Even if I did get up and say all that I don't even know if I'm saying it to him because I don't know what's in that damn box. It's a closed casket-- might be someone else, someone funnier or a bunch of rocks.” I understand Matt. I really do.

*Angel 5x15 “A Hole in the World”

Reason for tears: Moments into realizing true love with Wesley, Fred loses her battle with a supernatural virus after opening an ancient sarcophagus.

Quote: Fred: “I need you to talk to my parents. They have to know I wasn't scared. That it was quick, that I wasn't scared. Oh God!” Wesley: “I need you to fight, you don't have to talk, just concentrate on fighting. Just hold on.” Fred: “I'm not scared. I'm not scared. I'm not scared. Please. Wesley. Why can't I stay?”

All the feels: Wesley loved Fred from the moment he saw her. And isn’t it Joss’ way to take her away from him just as he gets her. And Fred, always so brave. Of course, it gets worse for Wes and the rest of Angel’s inner circle when Fred’s body becomes the God Illyria who couldn’t be more different from Fred. Too bad Illyria insists on wearing Fred's face. You know it’s bad when even Spike is suffering. “There's a hole in the world. Feels like we ought to have known.”

Runner up: 5x12 “You’re Welcome” 

– Cordelia comes out of her coma to give Angel both a proper goodbye and what he needs to win – “Don't make it hard, Angel. I'm just on a different road...and this is my off-ramp. The Powers That Be owed me one, and I didn't waste it. I got my guy back on track.” Please never again make me see his face when he realizes that she has been dead the entire time. 

*The Vampire Diaries 2x21 “The Sun Also Rises”

Reason for tears: Despite everyone’s hard work to keep death at bay, Aunt Jenna is turned and then murdered by Klaus.

Quote: Elena: “Just turn it off. Jenna turn it off. You won’t be scared anymore.”

All the feels: TVD has never shied away from killing major characters. And it has always hurt. But none quite like this one. Even though a lot of us made fun of Jenna for being a mostly drunk door opener, her loss had us all hitting rock bottom. In order to really feel the pain we were forced to face those who loved her most. Jeremy, Elena and Alaric. And all of their tears came together to create a Molotov cocktail of sorrow no one was prepared to swallow. Making the cocktail stronger is “Skinny Love” by Birdy. OUCH.

Runner up: 2x06 “Plan B”

 – Elena gives up her relationship with Stefan to keep her family safe - please never again make me watch Paul Wesley cry like that. When he cries like that all of my unicorns stop eating and nearly die. It’s gut wrenching. (Made worse/better listening to “Wires” by Athlete).

*Bones 5x16 “The Parts in the Sum of the Whole”

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Reason for tears: After revisiting their first case, Booth gives his heart to Brennan only to have it refused.

Quote: Booth: “Well then let's go for a different outcome here, all right? Let's just, hear me out alright? You know when you talk to older couples who, have been in love for thirty or forty or fifty years alright? It's always the guy who says ‘I knew.’ ... I knew, right from the beginning.” Brennan: “Your evidence is anecdotal.” Booth: “I'm that guy. Bones, I'm that guy, I know.” Brennan: (crying) “I- I am not a gambler. I'm a scientist. I can't change. I don't know how ... I don't know how.”

All the feels: After overcoming years of a “we’re just partners” partnership and his own insecurities, Booth finally lets Bones know just how much he loves her and is immediately shot down because Bones doesn’t know how to feel her feelings. And it is not for her own sake that she stays away, but for his. Because she doesn’t feel that she has the love to give him for the 30-40-50 years he wants and deserves.

Runner up: 6x22 “The Hole in the Heart” 

– Intern Vincent Nigel-Murray falls victim to a hunted sniper – please never again make me watch Brennan tell him he will be ok.

*Supernatural 5x22 “Swan Song”

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Reason for tears: Knowing that there is no other option, Sam gives himself up to Satan in order to help Dean stop the Apocalypse.

Quote: Dean: “Sam. Sammy. It’s ok. I’m here. I’m not gonna leave you." Sam: “It’s ok Dean. It’s gonna be ok. I got it.”

All the feels: It’s hard for me to even talk about this one. Dean finally lets Sam grow up. But letting Sam grow up means letting him go. Dean has to trust Sam to take on Satan himself. It’s so hard to watch Dean take that brutal beating before Sam gets the reins back, but Sam wins. Except that when Sam wins, the Winchester brothers who have spent the last 5 years together, saving people, hunting things, lose. Because they lose each other.

“So what's it all add up to? It's hard to say. But me, I'd say this was a test... for Sam and Dean. And I think they did all right. Up against, Good, Evil, angels, devils, Destiny, and God himself, they made their own choice. They chose family. And, well... isn't that kinda the whole point? No doubt--endings are hard. But then again... nothing ever really ends, does it?”

Runner up: 2x22 “All Hell Breaks Loose: Part II” 

– Dean sells his soul to bring Sam back from the dead – There isn’t much in this world more powerful than one brother trading his life for another. Please never again make me watch Dean take the blame for losing Sam. “It's like I had one job. I had one job, and I screwed it up. I blew it, and for that, I'm sorry. I guess that's what I do. I let down the people I love. Y'know, I let Dad down, and now I guess I'm just supposed to let you down, too. How can I? How am I supposed to live with that? What am I supposed to do? Sammy? What am I supposed to do?”

So how did I do? Did I make you cry? What did I miss? Go ape shit in the comments. After I recover from putting this soul sucking list together I may read some of them! 

Smells Like Teen Spirit

The title of tonight’s episode of The Vampire Diaries has had me doing a lot of thinking. Not just about the episode (which I am VERY excited to see) but also about where the title came from. My guess is that 98% think immediately to the Nirvana song of the same title which is absolutely iconic of course! (If you’ve never heard the Tori Amos cover please seek it out. Also totally epic).

Anyways, the reality is that it’s about deodorant. More specifically, the very first deodorant made just for teens. And if you did not have this in the locker room at my Jr. High you may as well skip gym altogether. (I am totally aging myself aren’t I?) I think they still make this stuff but I want everyone to remember that it was created for a generation of teens who watched Saved By The Bell live on Saturday mornings and then had to travel to Blockbuster Music to stand in line for concert tickets. Perhaps those concert tickets were to see Nirvana live as well.

The senior class of Mystic Falls High really doesn’t have time for Saturday morning TV and if they wanted concert tickets they could purchase them from their phones. So, the question is, what will their anthem be and what will they remember about this time when they are ancient like me?

Here we are now. Entertain us.

TVD’s Midsummer Night’s Horror

Ok, I know it’s not midsummer but I have been thinking a lot about this since last week’s episode and the subsequent conversation I had with Tiff on Friday. The relationships on our favorite show have never been more complicated. And I mean NEVER. And since my opinions on the subject are SO important, I thought I’d break it all down and share with you all.

• Elena. Oh Elena. Clearly she loves Stefan. No doubt about that. But was his growling at her last week enough for her to be able to press pause until she can get him back from the dark side? (Personally I’d have jumped him right then and there just for that but, I digress). How will she feel once she learns about Rebekah? She knows there was Katherine and a playboy bunny or two before her but can she let slide a real ripper love affair?  And let’s not forget about the OTHER Salvatore. How IS she feeling about Damon these days? Will this break from the Save Stefan mission give her time to finally decide? Will Damon be willing to let her make the move, knowing that if Stefan were to return it would likely tear her in two? Is there even the possibility of happily ever after with Stefan’s loss hanging over both of them like rotting fruit?

• Speaking of Stefan. He loves Elena. He’s trying to keep her safe. Blah, blah, blah. We know all of that. But how does 2011 Stefan feel about Rebekah? Were his prior feelings fueled only by blood rage or was it something more? Can true love ever be compelled away? We all know the quote from the original books about Stefan and Elena finding each other regardless of the circumstances, but could that be true? If he was never made to forget Rebekah, would he have ever found Elena?

• Let’s address Stefan’s third lady in this situation (he certainly gets around). Miss Katherine. It’s quite clear now (to me) that she has true feelings of love for Stefan to this day and she wasn’t lying about stalking him all that time. At one point I could try and make the case that her feelings for him were gone but her little trek to Chicago has made that argument invalid. She wants him. Oh yes. But how much does she know about Rebekah? And how far is she willing to go to get her out of the way? Not sure that  it matters who she gets out of her way though. Stefan doesn’t love her. Not anymore. I think he has forgiven her for what she did to them but his love was that of an innocent boy which he has not been for a very long time. As opposed to Damon's love for her which took him through the greater part of a century and a half. Which leads me to:

• UNPOPULAR OPINION TIME!!!!! I think Damon and Katherine need to get over themselves and admit that they belong together forever. The kind of love Stefan and Elena want and need could never be provided by the likes of those two. They just aren’t built that way. Plus, who besides each other could keep up with their speedy wit and snarky quips for all eternity? Damon and Katherine are two sides of the same coin my dears and the faster they come to terms with that the happier they’ll be.

In closing: Elena loves Stefan and Stefan loves Elena but they can't be together right now. Damon also loves Elena but we don't know if how she really feels about him. Katherine loves Stefan and I imagine has lingering feelings for Damon but no one will admit to loving Katherine cuz she's an evil bitch. We think that Rebekah loves Stefan and that Stefan might love Rebekah but one shared neck is hardly enough to judge by.

What do you think friends? Did I get it right? Did I get it wrong? Do you have the answers to any of my burning questions? And lastly, IS IT THURSDAY YET?

TVD Season 3 Questionnaire Extraordinaire

Wow you guys. We're almost there. Can you believe we survived yet another TVD free summer? Only a little over one day left to wait so I put together something to help pass the time! I asked some of my favorite fellow Vampire Diaries fans to fill me on what they've loved about the season 3 promotion and what they're most looking forward to in the coming weeks. Their answers are a delight to read and (if at all possible) have made me even more anxious for Thursday night to be here. Thomas Galvin (@thomascgalvin), Melissa Leaman (@onlymystory), Crissy Calhoun (@crissycalhoun), and Abby Graham (@AbbyGraham ), all decided to play my little time killing game. Be sure to follow each of them on Twitter to keep up with all of their amazing words and projects.

1. Favorite image from a TVD Video promo:
Thomas: Elena's mouth dropping open when Damon walks out of the shower, covered in soap suds. And is it just me, or did she look a little longer than necessary before turning away? No, it's not. That girl wants - nay, needs - a little Damon in her. Life. In her life.

I also really love that you can tell the difference between Nina Dobrev playing Elena and Nina Dobrev playing Katherine, even when she isn't talking. That girl has chops.

Melissa: Klaus whispering in Stefan’s ear. While my slash loving side totally ships Klefan, I also love the idea of there being a literal devil on his shoulder. We’ve all known for a while now that Stefan is constantly fighting his inner demon. The implications of a flesh and blood demon tempting him at every turn fascinates me.

Crissy: Stefan pulling Elena’s hair.

Abby: Klaus and the cake.

2. Favorite TVD promo poster and/or episode still:
Thomas: The paintings where the vampires are all holding fruit / ripped out hearts are fantastically well done. And seriously? How awesome is it that the people who run this show decided "pretty people holding ripped out hearts" was the best way to speak to their core demographic?

I have to say, though, that Stefan's poster is my favorite, just because it makes a promise: Stefan can be awesome. I've been really hard on him in the past, mostly because he's a giant girly-boy who contributes nothing except agreeing to whatever suicidal plan Elena has cooked up this week, but there are glimmers of hope there. The Ripper has a lot of potential, and it'll be fun to watch Paul Wesley have a character he can actually sink his teeth into.

And actually, if the promos are accurate, he's going to have entire sororities full of characters he can sink his teeth into.

Melissa: The pomegranate. I actually enjoy the entire fruit motif because symbolism and mythology are particular interests of mine. I went way too into the whole thing on my Tumblr page but I like the pomegranate best. It manages to factor into both Elena as a character and the show as a whole.

Crissy: Hmm, I try not to look at the stills because I am a huge spoilerphobe, but the ones where Matt and Jer were hanging out looking all serious and ridiculously handsome were a nice reminder of all the goodness to come.

Abby: The illustration-looking one that looks like an evil children's book cover.

3. What you’d most like to see happen in the Season 3 premiere:
Thomas: A lot of people didn't love the Season Two opener, because they didn't think enough happened. But it turned out that a ton of fantastic plots were established in those short forty-five minutes.

I'm of the opinion that you shouldn't break what works. I just want them to set the scene for all of the craziness that's going to happen over the next twenty-two episodes. We've got Stefan and Klaus, Damon and Elena, Caroline and Tyler, Jeremy and Bonnie and The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, and Katherine, and... maybe Alaric will get to talk a few times? That would be neat.

Of course, if they wanted to yank the Dagger of Not Really Dying out of Elijah, I wouldn't cry about it.

Melissa: Since I know that Stefan won’t really be letting his ripper flag fly until later, I think I’d most like to see some touching scenes between Alaric, Elena and Jeremy. People say your real family is the people you choose and those three have been developing their own version of a family for a while. I’d like to see some evidence of the three depending on each other, even if they don’t realize it.

Crissy: Klefan.

Abby: Ripper. Stefan. I know he'll happen, it's just the thing I'm most excited about, to see how Paul Wesley will play it.

4. What you’d most like to see happen within the first 6 episodes of Season 3:
Thomas: Six episodes is probably long enough for the writers to get Stefan back to Mystic Falls, and possibly free of Klaus. It would be very interesting to see how the Salvatore dynamic changes when Damon is the most rational one... not because Damon mellowed out, but because Stefan is batshit crazy.

I would also love for them to do something interesting with Bonnie. I've hated on her even more than Stefan, but I'd be ecstatic if they'd just make proper use of her. Give her some emotional development besides "I hate vampires and get nose bleeds a lot. But don't worry, it's not from the cocaine, it's from the magic." I'm still kind of rooting for her to become a Dark-Willow-style Big Bad. I think she'd be a fantastic tragic hero.

Melissa: Obviously I’m thrilled for RIPPAH STEFAN and the Roaring 20s flashbacks. I always love this show so it’s hard to say what I most want to see. But I guess that Elijah is woken up, lots of Damon/Alaric road trip bonding clichés, tons of Anna and the beginning of a Matt story line.

Crissy: The rise of Elijah. (Actually I’m willing to wait a little longer to see that happen, as long as it does happen…)

Abby: Elijah: The Revenge

5. Which character do you think will offer the most surprises in Season 3?
Thomas: Stefan, just because I don't think people are used to seeing him as a bad guy. Even though we know it's coming, I think a lot of people are going to be shocked at how brutal The Ripper can be. And I really, really hope that's true.

Melissa: To me? I’m hoping Elena. I’d really like to see her go a bit darker. I think Matt’s going to be the Caroline of S3 though for most people. At the end of S1, the majority of fans hated Caroline and we’re hoping she wouldn’t make it through the premiere. Now of course, she’s one of the most beloved characters on the show. This time around, Matt seems to be in that boat but I know there’s not only so much more to the character but a wealth of talent in Zach. I can’t wait for this fandom to see that.

Crissy: Safe bet’s on Klaus, but I’m going to go with Elena.

Abby: Bonnie. I know that's a weird answer, but I think Kat Graham has more to offer the show than nosebleeds and moralizing, and I think the writers may be ready to show it.

6. Special predictions?
Thomas: Despite the troubled economy and a raft of failed promises, Obama will win a second term, largely because the American people are sick of the "political circus" in Washington.

Oh, you mean about TVD? Okay then.

I predict that there will be a Magic McGuffin that will cure Stefan of his Ripper tendencies, that Bonnie will be key in procuring said Plot Device, and that she will be emotionally conflicted over helping a vampire that has killed so many people. And then Damon will be all "STFU or GTFO," and she'll be like "okay fine, I'll help you this once," and Damon will be like "Witch please, you know you can't resist the eyebrows," and she'll be all like "you're right," and look at the ground like she's ashamed.

Melissa: Matt & Caroline will save Stefan while Elena & Elijah kill Klaus. Also, at some point, Katherine will have fun giving Damon & Alaric sexy dreams about each other.

Crissy: I’m terrible at guessing ahead — my only prediction is that we will not see it coming. Whatever “it” is.

Abby: None that come immediately to mind.

7. Your most burning TVD question:
Thomas: Not so much a question as a promise: if Caroline and Tyler have werepire puppies, I will walk to Atlanta and burn the set to the ground. Nothing says "jump that shark" like magic babies.

Though I guess you could turn that into a question. Like, "what kind of accelerant should you use to burn down an inexplicably empty high school?" Or "could they rebuild Caroline's house as fast as they repaired the Grill?" Or "where does Damon keep that flame thrower?"

Melissa: What is Mama Donovan and did Matt inherit some freaky gene from her?!

Crissy: The Original Petrova — who was she, why was she important enough to bind Klaus’s curse, and is she dead or undead?

Abby: None at the moment, I'm just waiting to see what will happen.

Just in case anyone reading this doesn't yet have September 15th tattooed on their foreheads yet, don't forget to watch the Season 3 premiere of The Vampire Diaries Thursday night at 8:00 PM EST on The CW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Interviewing Thomas Galvin Powers Activate!

If you're like me, Thomas Galvin (@thomascgalvin on Twitter) probably came into your lives via his always hysterically funny and brilliantly snarky Vampire Diaries recaps. I give him full credit for my love affair with recappers that bag on my favorite show. Thomas also blogs on a number of other topics with the same biting humor and collects goodies from around the web. His blog (Thomas-Galvin.com) has become a real internet highlight for me so be sure to check it out. In the mean time, while we are all painfully waiting for his next TVD recap, he answered some of my burning questions about the show he seems to love to hate!

How did you first find The Vampire Diaries? Are you a fan of the genre or was it completely by accident?
T: Yeah, I'm a huge fan of the genre, so Vampire Diaries was kind of a given for me. Buffy the Vampire Slayer is one of my favorite shows of all time, and while TVD is certainly different from Whedon's show, it kind of fills the same void in my life. The dark, empty void.

What about TVD made you want to recap it in your very distinct re-scripting manner?
T: Well, to start with, I'm neither the first nor the only person doing script-style recaps. Cleolinda Jones is probably the best known; she does a great series called Movies in Fifteen Minutes. Then, there's The Editing Room, and Frankie Diane Mallis, over at First Novels Club, who's actually recapping TVD. Anyway, the script style is just how I think... it's actually how I write a lot of my first drafts, too. I think dialog is the hardest part to get right, and doing a script-style treatment makes you work on it longer and harder (that's what she said). And it kind of forces you to do the whole "show, don't tell" thing. As for the blog... well, I'm basically a huge attention whore, and my sense of self-worth is directly proportional to the number of hits I get in a month.

If you were to regularly recap any other show on TV what would it be?
T: The second season of Firefly, because that show was taken too soon. Or maybe another season of Veronica Mars. But really, I think I've got as many shows on my plate as I can handle. In addition to TVD, I recap True Blood and, for some reason, Teen Wolf. That's a lot of hours in front of the television. A lot of people ask me to recap Supernatural. I love that show, but it would honestly be a nightmare to recap, because so much of it is already funny. I'd pretty much just be copying down their script every week.

You appear to have a real love affair (or not) with Bonnie Bennett. How did that start?
T: The show just doesn't know what to do with her. She's a witch for Odin's sake... she should be the most powerful character on the show. Instead, they have her floating feathers and lighting tiny fires with her tiny brain and almost-but-not-quite actually being useful in the fight with the Big Bad Werepire. And that stunt she pulls, where she seals people inside of a house while their lover dies at the hands of an ancient monster? That would send her straight to the top of my hit list. But one of the most frustrating things is that she could be a great character. When her Grams died, and she was so... broken and confused at her inability to bring her back? That was fantastic television, and for that one moment, I was Team Bonnie. But they didn't do anything with it... they just let all that character development fall right on the floor. And she was showing shades of Buffy's Evil Willow, and I'd love to see Bonnie go all Dark Side for a while. But it doesn't look like we'll be getting that, either. Instead, we get to watch an entire town die to keep her safe.

Is there a character in your personal TV watching history that you have loathed as much as Bonnie?
T: Half the cast of True Blood. Tara, Sam's Redneck Family, Voodoo Jesus... sweet lemony Moses that show needs to cut it with the side plots. I really hated Detective Tritter on House, too... but I was supposed to. Hating a character isn't necessarily a bad thing, when the show puts that hate to good use. But we know that Bonnie is that I know she isn't going to die, and we don't expect her character to go anywhere. She's not the antagonist, she's just an anchor.

We all know you're a big fan of Damon. Do you remember the first moment you joined the Damon team?
T: When he was reading Twilight, and talking about how whipped Edward was, I knew I'd found my soul mate. Although it really wasn't until he started becoming more of an anti-hero, as opposed to a straight-up villain, that he really started to click with me. There's something about the mix of "trying to do the right thing" and "completely unpredictable" that's fascinating. And, well, his penchant for walking around shirtless doesn't hurt...

If you could kill anyone off the show OTHER than Bonnie, who would it be and how would they die?
T: Well, there's no one that I really want to die, but I think it would be hilarious if Caroline ate Matt. Not out of rage or bloodlust or anything, just kind of... accidentally. Like when you come home and the cats have spilled kitten food all over the kitchen, except when Sheriff Forbes comes home, Matt's arterial spray is all over the... everything.

Favorite TVD show moment: 
T: Allow me to quote:
Super Damon ripping his goddamn heart out while hes still in the goddamn air and tossing it on the goddamn ground like it aint no goddamn thing because I am that. Goddamn. Awesome. Powers activate!
And then Jonas Martin walking out of the woods, head bowed and hands spread, throwing brain pain around like it ain't no thing. That whole scene was very well done. Also: Stefan teaching Caroline how to vampire? Adorable.

Favorite TVD episode:
T: I don't know that I have a favorite episode, per se, but my favorite development happened in Klaus (S02E19); when Elijah told Elena that the whole Sun and Moon curse what just a giant troll, I literally got off the couch and clapped. That whole thing was just so unrelentingly stupid, and when the writers/producers showed that they knew that it was stupid, and that they could fix it... respect.

What happens in your dream Season 3 episode of TVD?
T: Bonnie goes over to the dark side. Well, all the way over, since she's already guilty of a lot of morally questionable antics. She's always been a little touchy about the Salvatore brothers, but now that Stefan is in full-on ripper mode, I want to see her declare war on them. Given the way this show burns through plot twists, I expect Klaus to be dealt with by episode 12 at the latest, and I want Bonnie to be the one who takes him down... and replaces him as the Big Bad in Mystic Falls. That would give us a situation where the Salvatores wanted to kill her, Elena wanted to save her, and it makes sense.

Message for the TVD Fans: 
T: Loooooooook into my eyes...

The Vampire Diaries Recap - The Sun Also Rises

For the 3 or 4 days leading up to this episode I was STRESSED OUT! Actually, I think “living in terror” would be a better way to describe me while waiting for this installment of The Vampire Diaries. I made sure that when I sat down to watch, I had a HUGE margarita and my blanky. And if you didn't make it through your viewing (I nearly didn’t) and are reading this from heaven, may you rest in peace.

• Not only did Klaus turn Jenna but he roofied her too. And as a vampire? She looks AWESOME!!! I'd probably let her bite me.
• I did not expect to be as moved by Damon and Katherine's exchange as I was. After everything, she still has the balls to need feelings from him.
• Husband wants to know if Bonnie and Jeremy are still using MyFi or if they are serving each other big glasses of Pepsi! The choice of a new generation!
• Is Klaus performing the sacrifice or opening ceremonies for the Olympics?
• Shut up Jules. Everyone knows you’re heartless. (See what I did there?)
• Jenna’s speech to Elena is so tragic. Poor drunk, clueless Jenna. If she lives it’ll take a lot more booze to catch that buzz.
• The rest of the Originals are dead? I AM SO CONFUSED!
• Damon’s violent heartbreak over the thought of losing Stefan is moving and refreshing. As is his acknowledgement of the fact that Stefan has been cleaning up after him for ages. Despite every nightmare they have survived, they love each other. It’s impossible to not be touched by that.
• “You can’t die, I’ll die for you!” “No, I’ll die for you!” “No, me!” “No, let it be me.” Husband refuses to believe there are this many selfless people in the whole world, let alone in one town. His vote is for Klaus to kill them all just for being annoying. Husband is kind of a jerk.
• Me: “Stefan! GET UP!” Husband: “Honey he can’t! He has Klaus’ wood in him.”
• “Hello Brother.” Hmmmmm…… Where have we heard this before?
• Despite my best efforts to prepare for it, Jenna’s loss is heart crushing. And Elena’s reaction is heart crushing.
• And then Alaric knows.
• And then Jeremy knows.
• And John.
• You guys!! They have no parents. Even bad ones. I can’t stop crying.
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• Still crying.
• I’m gonna have to come back to this later. I just can’t.
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• My eyes feel as if they’ve had Tabasco poured in them and my face is puffy beyond all recognition but I’m gonna try to finish this up.
• On a personal note, I lost my parents a few years ago. And, though I am a grown ass woman, my Aunts have taken care of me in one way or another ever since. While I am well aware that TVD is just a television show, this episode really hit close to home. Please forgive me if my usual humor is lacking in this post.
• While I’m glad that we have not seen the last of our lovely accented Original Recipe friends, I am so fucking pissed off at them right now. Especially Elijah. But I get it. I understand his motivation 100%. Still fucking pissed though. What a couple of weenies.
• The way Damon picked up Elena and laid her next to Stefan. And then he removed Stefan’s stake. And he takes her away at Stefan’s insistence. You guys, I am so fucking close to forgiving Damon and I hate that about me!! UGH!
• I understand Matt’s motivation too. He never asked for this. He is truly lovely but he doesn’t have Elena’s heart. And that is such a shame. Caroline deserves so much more. I suppose if she can forgive Tyler, I’m going to have to as well. What is wrong with me tonight with all of this forgiving crap?
• If you would have told me even a week ago that Uncle Daddy John would move me to tears I would have asked you to be my roomie in this lovely padded room I’ve reserved.
• I know that Damon will be fine. How can he not be? But the pain that he and Stefan and Elena will go through to get to that point is almost too much to take. Which leads me to……..

Friends! I will be away for the finale next week. I’m in a wedding. Maid of Honor actually so it’s a pretty big deal. And honestly, after tonight’s emotional nightmare I’m almost glad. I will miss you all terribly though and please check back here because I WILL recap. Just late.

Regarding this one though, if you’re alive out there I would love your reactions to the episode!! Please tell me I am not the only one who cried for an hour! I'm sure I have missed a lot and gotten a ton of shit out of order but I'm sure you understand. Feel free to correct me!

The TVD Musketeers

Tealey, Simone and Jason have been chatting about The Vampire Diaries for over a year now. And the best part is that they let you listen in!! They have some of the best analysis and speculation and most fun discussions found on the subject. You can keep up with all of their podcasting adventures at http://salvatorecouncil.podbean.com/ and be sure to follow them on Twitter: @SalvatoreCast. In the mean time, check out their super fun answers to my questions below:

How did you all meet?
Tealey: I met Simone on one of the TVD fan boards. I’ve been meaning to do a TVD podcast, and at the time she was interested in starting up a fancast and was looking for a co-host. It was perfect timing really, so I put my hand up - we chatted and got the ball rolling. In the beginning, it was just Simone and I – but then we met Jason and asked him to join us. And here we are now.
Jason: I believe I met Simone at a TVD VRO show and IHeartTVD recap show.

What made you decide to podcast about TVD?
Tealey: I’ve always been a fan of LJ Smith’s work, and TVD is no exception. To be honest, even though I’m a bit of a TV/film junkie, I’ve never been so immersed in a series as I am with TVD. I guess I wanted to do my part in supporting the series and its fandom. There is a lot of work that goes into running a website, and since there were already a few totally awesome fansites out there, I wasn’t really interested in creating another one, especially if I knew I couldn’t give it my all, time-wise. However, I felt like I had to find an outlet to discuss and share my passion/enthusiasm for the series, so I decided that a podcast was the way to go.
Simone: I’ve got to give credit to the cast of Imprint and Mugglecast who gave me the inspiration to create a podcast. I’ve always wanted an outlet of my own to talk about anything and everything I wanted and with all the shouting at my TV and prediction-making I did during TVD I figured it was best to channel all those thoughts and put them out there so I made it a mission to find (a) cohost(s).
Jason: I was approached by Simone around last May I believe and she thought it was awesome that a guy loved The Vampire Diaries and was very informative and passionate about the show just as any other fan. So I was like, sign me up girl!

What has been your favorite episode to podcast about so far?
Tealey: This may sound corny, but I’ve seriously enjoyed every episode that we’ve recorded thus far. It’s always delightful when we have a special guest on, because we mix things up a bit. Our interviews with Vee (from Vampire-Diaries.net), Michael Jaegers (background actor for TVD), Chrissy Calhoun (author of Love You To Death) and Jim Halterman (Entertainment Reporter) have been some my highlights.
Simone: Plan B, hands down. Looking back at Episode 15 Life Gives Us Lemons, I had an awesome time with Tealey being able to break down every single aspect of the episode from acting to plot. The format that we used to recap the episode, while too time consuming to use for every episode, was essential to talk about Plan B. I remember being in awe during the whole episode. I still to this day can’t recall exactly what it is but to me it just seemed everyone on set stepped up their game by 10 for that episode hence us having to break it down so thoroughly. Plus I believe this was the episode where I hummed to Tealey and no one had a clue what music I was talking about which will forever go down as one my stupid moments on the show.
Jason: This is such a HARD question. I literally am thinking as I am typing this at the moment…hmmm. However, I’m just going to pick a few. I absolutely loved when we did a lot of episode recaps in one recording last summer and I loved talking about “Friday Night Bites”, “The Turning Point”, and “Under Control”. Right now “Know Thy Enemy” is probably my favorite recording because we discuss a lot of theories and go through a lot of points from the episode.

What has been the most difficult episode to talk about?
Tealey: Definitely the Season 1 Finale. I’m still mourning Anna’s death.
Simone: The Descent broke my heart while watching, literally. I don’t cry while watching TVD; I’m an avid fan and all but its not like real life where you can change it so whatever the writers want to do they’ll do and I try to calm myself knowing this. BUT Lauren Cohen’s death scene just wrenched my heart OUT of my chest. When Lexi died I was pissed, for weeks. When Anna died I was resentful, for months. When the writers killed off Rose I irrationally balled, screamed and cursed and I knew it would be hard to talk about that’s why I had to make Episode 21 “No Hate”.
Jason: I would say talking about the episode when Tyler left town with Jules. It was really difficult to talk about him leaving for me. I’m a huge Michael Trevino fan and my heart was absolutely broken when I saw that happen. Honestly, I was thinking “OH MY GOD…They’re pulling a Buffy!” (By that I mean how Oz left town and came back eventually, but left town AGAIN.) Hopefully that won’t be the case.

If you could have anyone guest host a podcast with you, who would it be?
Tealey: Michael Trevino and/or Matt Davis. I can just imagine how hilarious and insane it would be. I’m going to also throw in Robbie Jones (from HellCats), so you guys can hear Simone fangirl.
Simone: A tie between Michael Jaegers (who I love) and Vee/Red (who are like a laugh bomb for me)
Jason: I seriously can’t pick one! I would have to say TVD_Chloe of twitter though. That would be really fun.

TVD Person you’d most love to interview?
Tealey: Oh, this is a toughie! I would love to interview any of the cast members, writers and producers. But if I had to choose, it would be Michael Trevino, Matt Davis, Julie Plec and Kevin Williamson.
Simone: LJ Smith
Jason: Handsdown Michael Trevino!

Favorite TVD character Book and/or show (if it differs):
Tealey: My favorite characters in the book – Meredith, Matt and Damon.
My favorite characters on the show – To be honest, I love them all. Each character delivers something special to the show and the cast is fantastic in bringing the characters to life. In the TV series, they have time to explore each character in depth, and thus, there is more character development. Each character is multidimensional - we see their strengths and flaws, and they are relatable. I think this is one of main reasons why so many of the characters on the show are loved universally by fans.
Simone: Anna. Let’s just say I had my Anna phase (minus the whole vampire-with-entombed-mom-thing) meaning I too had a boy best friend whose name ironically started with J and who was irresistible to me despite reasons to NOT like him. There’s your little juicy Simone tidbit for today 
Jason: I haven’t read the books. However, Tyler Lockwood on the show is an absolute “Dream Boat”! Tyler is definitely my favorite because I feel there is so much potential with his character that hasn’t been seen yet. They need to pursue the bromance between Tyler and Jeremy.

Favorite TVD show moment:
Tealey: I have to say the return of lil’ Miss Katherine at the end of S1 ;) John would probably disagree – but the girl did come back in style (albeit somewhat gruesomely)! I also enjoyed the flashbacks scenes. Damon’s 1864 hair is priceless.
Simone: Umm… wow, brain officially hurting. I guess I’d have to say the moment that pops out is Damon compelling Rose’s dream in The Descent. I’ve mentioned already that this was a hard scene to take but at the same time from an aspiring screenwriter’s POV, the writing was brilliant. I hate (with extra loathing on the side) the fact that she died but I do have to give props for how they chose to do it. The moment was truly beautiful. I guess you can say as a fan I hated it but as a writer I was dumbstruck so it was a bittersweet scene I’ll never forget.
Jason: How could you ask this hard question? LMAO! I honestly would have to say when Tyler went up to Matt before he left town. It was a really emotional moment for him to say good bye to his best friend and tell him the truth about how he felt about Caroline. I actually wish they did more with that scene and made them hug or something more. I mean these two were so close in season 1 like brothers and I hope that will be brought back. Matt is alone and Tyler is his best friend so hopefully we will see more of a connection between the two before the end of season 2.

Favorite TVD show song:
Tealey: Metric’s ‘Help I’m Alive’, Cage the Elephant’s ‘Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked’ and Alex Band’s ‘Only One’.
Jason: The song that played when Tyler left town with Jules. Sorry, the title slips my mind.[The song is “Family Tree” by Matthew West ]
Favorite episode:
Tealey: Season 1 – Children of the Damned and Isobel, Season 2 – Masquerade and Know Thy Enemy.
Jason: This is super hard for me to answer. However, I absolutely love “Let the Right One In” I swear upon every higher power I’ve probably watched that episode 50+ times. Not even joking. It’s just so brilliant! I swear it could have possibly been a finale it was that dam good. Another favorite as of now would definitely be “Know Thy Enemy” I mean did you see that episode? It was freaking insane! I felt like I was in Inception or I was watching the anime Naruto and I was trapped in some spell!

Hopes for the future of TVD:
Tealey: I have faith in the cast and crew and believe they will continue to deliver the goods ;) This show has so much scope and with the talented writing team, anything is possible. I look forward to seeing what TVD has in store for us over the next few weeks and I hope the series will continue to build on its successes and draw in a new generation of TVD fans.
Jason: Lord! Let me keep it real! Okay! They definitely need to figure out who Bonnie is. At this point I’m confused as a viewer because it seems to me Bonnie has turned into the character “Storm” from X-men. I mean, she absorbed the powers (which wasn’t believable to me by the way) of (100?) dead witches and the only thing she did was change the weather and make leaves float? I want to see real magic from Bonnie. I wanted her eyes to go pure black and start a earthquake - throw a ball of energy at a tree or something. I mean, let’s be real. Every witch on Buffy The Vampire Slayer was the real deal. I’m really wondering what is going on when it comes to the CGI and contemplating what powers Bonnie should have as a witch on The Vampire Diaries.
They need to do something different from the mind mojo and make it more believable. I also hope that the Tyler/Jeremy bromance happens and the Bonnie/Jeremy relationship, which feels completely forced, ends. Bonnie/Jeremy is one of the most random relationships I’ve ever seen in the history of TV shows. I mean they had no scenes together in season 1 and all of a sudden now in season 2 they like each other, especially when Luka came into the picture? Bonnie needs a man not an emo boy who just decided to get a haircut and shop at Abercrombie and Fitch all of a sudden to impress her.
And do these kids even go to school anymore? They need more school scenes, and make Jenna a stronger character – in particular, a parental figure. Jenna can’t just keep leaving the house whenever something goes wrong. It’s time for her to step up and take control of the household. Also, please introduce more diversity into a show – i.e. a gay (male) character to the show! It would be totally amazing to see. The reason why I stated “gay male character” is because I would love that personally and I would find it interesting to see someone hit on Tyler Lockwood LOL! Just kidding! However, I would love to see that character introduced and how good the role would be.

Message for the TVD Fandom:
Tealey: Thank you guys so much for your support – we really appreciate it and you don’t know how much it means to us. I’ve met so many great people through TVD, and it really does feel like we’re one huge family. Please keep supporting LJ Smith, the show, the cast and crew and each other! xx
Simone: I’ve talked to a lot of you guys and I love you all and thank you for making this fandom such a family. And lets face it guys, we all have our issues in life sadly and there’s no need to create even more with people on the internet. If someone has a difference in opinion, turn the other cheek PLEASE. Make twitter, and facebook, and imdb, etc. more pleasant and bearable.
Jason: My message for the TVD fandom: Please don’t stop watching the show just because a ship may not happen. The reason I bring this up is because it’s such a huge topic among the fandom. Sadly, it has gone as far as (some) fans attacking the show’s writers and it is absolutely uncalled for. A little respect goes a long way.