I'm gonna try to keep this as spoiler free as possible but if you'd like to see the movie without my voice filling your head I suggest you bookmark and come back later.
The entire thing was pretty damn ridiculous. For the first 30 minutes I thought for sure I was either going to pass out from boredom or get sick from the shaky camera work and neither had anything to do with the margs I had at dinner. I love stories with great mythology, even when poorly written, and I was hoping this could at least be one of those. No such luck. When I wasn't confused by beautiful yet totally unnecessary scenes, I was trying to figure out what each character's motivation was. I'm still pretty unclear about all of that. I also had high hopes for some of the acting. I've seen Amanda Seyfried, Virginia Madsen and (of course!) Gary Oldman put out some really great stuff. For this I can only blame director Catherine Hardwicke. She seems to seek out the worst performances she can find and slap them together whether or not it makes any sense at all. To be fair, I wasn't expecting Oscar worthiness but Entertainment Weekly gave Red Riding Hood the same D- that it gave Beastly and I Am Number Four. Beastly was pretty silly but but not near the crap fest this was and I felt that I Am Number Four was an incredibly good time at the cinema.
There were a few things that made the ticket price sting a bit less. Shiloh Fernandez (who plays Peter) for one. HOT HOT HOT. He has a younger, sexier, Joaquin Phoenix thing going on that had me totally glued every time he appeared on screen. And, I must admit, the final twist and reveal was pretty fun.
One final highlight: hearing Valerie go into lines from the original fairy tale ("Grandma, what big eyes you have!") Our entire theater roared with laughter, and none louder than my husband. A truly great moment. Also, keep on the lookout for the head gear borrowed from Zed's gimp. The Pulp Fiction warehouse is missing a prop.
Let me know what you think friends, if you decide to go see it. I'd love to hear your thoughts!
